


It's Getting Harder(Being Without You)

by TheTinyTaco



Category: Block B
Genre: Alcohol, Blow Jobs, Hand Jobs, M/M, Porn with Feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-08
Updated: 2018-02-24
Packaged: 2019-01-30 23:14:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12663417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheTinyTaco/pseuds/TheTinyTaco
Summary: Jiho goes out with some elementary friends(including Kyung) for the night. Alcohol, feelings, and sex ensue. Based on the events of Hack Zico episode 2.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I advise that you go watch Hack Zico(episode 2) before you read this. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szZouqne7NQ The dialogue in the first half of this is literally ripped straight from the episode. Also if you're just looking for the sex, skip down to the line divider. Enjoy.

It’s 10:43, in small hole in the wall restaurant in Mangwon, and Jiho is surrounded by old friends, all but one dating back to his elementary school days. The smell of fresh, hot, oily food fills the air and the banging of pots and pans can be heard emanating from the kitchen, a light steam wafting through the air. The night is chilled outside, but the restaurant is filled with warmth, both of the literal sort and that of friends finally coming together after far too long, of laughter filling the air. Jiho thinks to himself how despite the fact that he’s known these guys over a decade, it feels like a decade since he’s seen them last. Times like these are few and far between, nowadays. The current conversation centers around just that.

 

“Honestly man, since we haven’t experienced it, we don’t know how difficult it is. I mean, you can’t even go to Lotte world!”

  
“Even just getting together, just to drink like this, it’s so hard.”

 

Jiho just pauses for a moment, as harsh realities like this don’t settle well with him. Tonight wasn’t for thinking about struggles. Tonight was about letting loose for once.

 

“Anyway, let’s drink!” Jiho eventually lets out. Glasses of beer and soju clink together in a glorious harmony, like a signal to the beginning of a one night retreat. Jiho throws his glass back, feeling the burn of alcohol as it rolls down his throat. It feels good, it feels like escape. And yet somehow, Jiho can’t fully relax, not just yet.

 

“Why isn’t Kyung here yet?” Jiho asks, staring down at his phone screen as if Kyung’s GPS coordinates will suddenly appear.

 

“Don’t you think he’s going to come in any minute, screaming ‘A-yo what’s up’, something stupid like that.” one friend remarks.

 

“He’s totally going to come in dancing.” says another. A laugh resounds throughout the group. Mere minutes pass, and speak of the devil, Kyung arrives(pretty much exactly as expected).

 

Kyung strides in with a loud “Aigoo~” and his signature dumb grin, a similar one lighting up on Jiho’s face as he sees Kyung come in. Jiho’s eyes lock onto Kyung, and vice versa, as a certain warmth fills the air, one that wasn’t quite there before. The night can finally begin.

 

Conversation flows, laughs are shared, and alcohol fills one glass, then two, then three...and then Jiho loses track. The friends move eventually from the restaurant to the nearby Han River, laying down on the soft grass and staring up at the starry night sky. Jiho starts an InstaLive at some point, and the group of friends drunkenly goof around on camera, Kyung constantly cracking bad jokes and trying to entertain, and Jiho just sitting back for the most part, enjoying the moment while it lasted. Hours go by and it's just the 7 of them, a golden shine from a lighted bridge above the river and the glow of the moon above them lighting the night. A few passers-by walk down the path beside them from time to time, but for once, Jiho can say he feels somewhat secluded.

 

“I feel like Jiho will be in the states in 10 years, you know? Just chilling, playing music in a mansion, like in Florida or something. Yeah, having a beer by the pool like ‘Hey, what’s up?’” Kyung remarks to the group, his eyes locked with Jiho’s hoping he’ll crack a smile. He does.

 

“Didn’t you say you wanted to live in the states?” Kyung asks.

 

“Yeah, I might leave, someday.”

 

“Man, it’d be great if we could all save up and buy a house together.” one friend replies.

 

“You don’t have to save up man, Jiho can just pay for it.” Kyung refutes, sending laughter resounding throughout the quiet night around them. Kyung’s gaze lingers on Jiho as he laughs along, his head tilting back a little and his eyes crinkling slightly. And then he really starts to think about it for a minute, life years from now. Years later when their schedules finally die down, and settling down somewhere actually becomes a viable option. He thinks for a moment of a future without Jiho, without everyone in Block B. A life outside the dorm, a life without the things he’s taken for granted for so long. He pushes it away from his mind. Probably not the time to think about these kinds of things, not when he’s got this much alcohol in his system.

 

The evening finally starts to wind down, and it’s time for everyone to head home. Jiho and Kyung walk with the group as they all head their separate ways, some to their cars, some off to the subway to catch the last train home. They wave goodbye as the last figure disappears off into the distance, and if he weren’t so drunk, Jiho thinks he might actually feel pretty sad seeing them go again. He wonders when another night like this will come again, and his heart sinks a little. Kyung slapping a hand around his shoulder snaps him back to attention.

 

“Hey, earth to Jiho! Do you want me to drive you back to your place or not?” Jiho thinks about it for a minute. It would be easy to just call his manager to come drive him back. It would be easy to just let the night rest here, and get an ok nights sleep for once, to reminisce on the memories he made today as he drifts off. It would be easy to split off here, and see Kyung again whenever fate had its way. But Jiho was selfish tonight. He could feel the warmth emanating from Kyung as he wrapped his arm around him, gripping his fingers around Jiho’s shoulder slightly every few moments. Maybe it’s just the alcohol, maybe it’s the fact that it’s a cold night out, maybe it’s just the fact that it’s Kyung. Whatever it is, Jiho runs his palm down Kyungs back, resting it a little bit above the shorter boy’s waist, squeezes a little bit. Just wants to feel Kyung for a second, feel like he belongs to him and him alone.

 

“Yeah. Let’s go.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Soon they’re riding down the streets of Seoul in Kyung’s white sports car, watching the city lights zoom past them. Sometimes Jiho wonders if Kyung offers him rides as a good friend or just for the sake of showing off his sweet ride. It is pretty fancy after all, an all leather interior with heated seats, the whole shebang. But the heat from the leather seats isn't the only heat the passengers of this car are feeling at this point. The alcohol is definitely starting to get to them, to Jiho more so than Kyung. And tonight, Jiho makes it rather obvious.

 

Kyung jolts a little in his seat when he feels Jiho’s hand run up his thigh, the passenger beside him running his thumb in small circles right near his hip bone. Jiho’s got a mischievous, drunken grin on his face, scanning Kyung up and down, hoping to elicit some sort of reaction out of him.

 

“You look a little bleary-eyed Kyungie. You sure you're alright to drive?”

 

“Ah shut up, you're the one who's wasted. If I had left you to get home on your own you’d probably be in some alley passed out by now.”

 

“So me~an, Kyungie. You don't trust me when I’m drunk?” Jiho’s thumb is circling dangerously close to Kyung’s crotch at this point, and Kyung swallows hard, trying to focus on driving.

 

“I mean, not really. You remember the time you passed out at a Chuck-E-Cheese?” Jiho just let out a loud chuckle.

 

“God that brings back memories. I miss those days, Kyung. I don't get to see you enough anymore.” Kyung stays quiet in response to that. Too many emotions, too much alcohol. Maybe they should have taken a taxi.

 

“Hey hey hey, this is the turn, right here. We're not going to the dorm, remember?” Kyung quickly jerks the wheel to the right, just barely turning into the Jiho’s apartment complex in time. It's kind of a miracle he got them both here at all. Jiho’s chuckling to himself again.

 

“Alright, that decides it. You're staying here tonight. There's no way I’m letting you back on the road.” Kyung opens his mouth for a minute to protest, but then quickly closes it. It would be easy, to just call a taxi and let the both of them sleep off the alcohol alone tonight. It would be easy to assure Jiho that they’d be seeing each other again before they know it, to pretend like they still have all the free time in the world. It would be easy, but tonight, Kyung is selfish. He wants Jiho to himself, and for as long as he can possibly keep him.

 

They start to walk up the stairs to Jiho’s room, Jiho holding Kyung by his wrist. Kyung’s heart is beating faster than normal, though he can't say for sure exactly what he's expecting. Jiho always gets touchy-feely like this when he's drunk, but nothing more than that. Somehow though, he thinks, tonight feels a little different. Jiho is full of laughs as always, but when Kyung looks into his eyes he sees something more. Like Jiho is trying to ignore something, begging him not to leave him alone with his thoughts. Kyung knows that feeling all too well, and tells himself he needs to do whatever he can to be there for his friend, his best friend. Even if it means just letting him ignore his problems for the night.

 

They finally arrived at Jiho’s place, an honestly pretty modest little bachelor pad on the third floor of some random apartment complex in Seoul. Jiho really could live in a mansion if he so desired, but Kyung knew that his friend wasn't like that. Never had been the flashy type, and honestly a guy he never imagined would be basking in the lime light as much as he was. If anything, Kyung was the one who craved fame, recognition, the high life. But like Jiho, when it came to home, Kyung didn't want anything fancy. That's why he still continued to live in the dorm. Even if it was only Jaehyo and Taeil at this point, coming home to a humble abode and some familiar faces is what kept him grounded in the hectic life he now lived. Sometimes he just wishes Jiho was still one of the faces he came home to on a regular basis.

 

“Don't forget to take your shoes off this time.” Jiho says as he turns his key to open the door.

 

“Ok mom, I got it.” Kyung says, a small grin on his lips. Times may change, but Jiho’s nagging never will.

 

They both walk into Jiho’s living room, sporting boring barren white walls and a floor covered in socks and snack wrappers. Jiho doesn't apologize for the mess, and Kyung doesn't expect him to. After all these years, there's no need. Jiho falls down onto the couch with a sigh, giving Kyung a kind of commanding sidelong glance, patting the seat cushion beside him. Kyung quickly obliges, sitting hip to hip to Jiho, laying his head back on the seat cushion behind him with a long drawn out exhale. Jiho puts his arm around Kyung, and starts absent-mindedly playing with his brown locks of hair. Now that they're sitting this close, he can faintly smell Kyung’s colone, same scent he’s been wearing for years. Kind of fresh, woodsy smell. Jiho leans his head in to Kyung’s and takes a deeper whiff, letting the smell of Kyung invade his senses.

 

“What are you, a dog?”

 

“If I say yes, will you call me a good boy?” Jiho retorts, leaning in close to Kyung’s face with a smirk. Kyung rolls his eyes.

 

“Try showing me a few tricks first, then we'll see about upgrading you to good boy status. I'm currently placing you in the useless mutt category.” Jiho laughs at that, and goes back to running his hand through Kyung’s hair, scanning Kyung’s facial features over like he hasn't seen them enough for the past decade. Kyung stares back, watching as Jiho bites absentmindedly at his full, pink lips.

 

“I’ve got an idea, how about you go fetch something for me. Every good dog knows how to fetch.”

 

“Yes of course your majesty, what can I get for you?” Jiho’s got a stupid smile plastered on his face again.

 

“Get me some water, I’m thirsty as hell.” Jiho thinks about making a shitty sex joke in response to that but decides on running quickly over to the kitchen instead. Soon he’s sliding back onto the couch with a cold bottle of water from his presumably nearly empty fridge. Kyung reaches out to grab for the bottle but is quickly denied as Jiho yanks the bottle out of his reach. Kyung gets a confused look on his face.

 

“Let me do it for you, _master_.” Suddenly Jiho is tilting the water bottle into Kyung’s lips, forcing them to part lest the water spill all over the couch. He stares as Kyung’s adam’s apple quickly bobs up and down as he drinks, a stray drop of water escaping and running down his throat. Jiho feels tempted to tip the bottle back even further and watch Kyung down the whole thing in one go, but decides against it when Kyung lets out a little groan, letting Jiho know it was too much water all at once. Jiho pulls the bottle back and Kyung coughs a little, staring at the man sitting with him with a look of amusement and bewilderment. Jiho says nothing, just runs his thumb across Kyungs wet lips, collecting a few drops of water and then putting his thumb into his own mouth. Kyung’s face shifts closer to bewilderment now.

 

It's quiet, other than the beating of Kyung’s heart in his chest. He sees something else in Jiho’s eyes that he usually doesn't, but this time he’s afraid he knows all too well what it means. Jiho’s living room is dark, lit just by the city lights leaking in through the half shut blinds of a nearby window. Just enough light to see how dark Jiho’s pupils are becoming. Not knowing what to say, Kyung let's out a nervous “G-good boy.”

 

This seems to set Jiho off, and soon he’s leaning in close to Kyung, running his hand down the side of Kyung’s face, tracing over his jaw bone. Kyung can smell the alcohol on his breath. He knows he should probably push Jiho off, laugh this situation off, and stop whatever was currently happening. It would be easy, but tonight is different. Tonight, Kyung let’s the line be crossed.

 

Suddenly the pair’s signature grins have faded in favor of dark, heavy pupils staring into one another. Kyung feels heat running down below his waist, and can feel himself getting hard, fast. The alcohol wasn’t helping. Jiho pulls Kyung even closer, then pushes him down so that Jiho is hovering over him. Jiho’s movements are sensual but uncoordinated, like he can't quite make up his mind about what he wants to do. There's a bulge growing in Jiho’s jeans, and it's glaringly apparent that Jiho plans to do something about it. Soon he’s pulling down Kyung’s fly, roughly pulling down Kyung’s jeans and underwear in tandem, causing Kyung’s half hard dick to snap back against his skin with a small thump. Jiho’s jeans follow suit being thrown down onto the floor into a crumpled heap after Jiho frantically struggled with his belt for a few seconds.

 

Jiho’s hand wraps around his hard length, as he stares down at Kyung, soaking in the sight of his long time friend below him, squirming and with a cock begging for friction. Jiho wants to tease him for a little bit though, so he just sits there palming his own hardening cock, watching as Kyung's eyes look up into his, begging him silently to do something. Jiho moves one hand down to trace his fingers across Kyung’s smooth stomach, pushing up his hoodie to gain more access to his skin. He watched as Kyung’s dick twitched every time his fingers brushed close to it, a small bead of precum forming at his bright red tip. Eventually he moved to brushing the tips of his fingers ever so slightly against Kyung’s now throbbing cock, Kyung arching his back in response, begging to be touched more. Jiho leans back and just stares at Kyung for a minute, as if searching for something. Then he lines his cock up with Kyung’s, wraps his long slender fingers around the both of them, grasping both of their cocks in the hold of his fist.

 

Kyung lets out a little moan, eyes closed tight as he finally gets touched properly. The friction is dry but it doesn't even matter right now, all he can think about is how he’s feeling Jiho’s cock against his own as Jiho pumps them in unison. Jiho uses his free hand to run through Kyung’s hair once again, not being able to get enough of Kyung’s soft brown locks. He bends down and starts tracing Kyung’s ear with his tongue, revelling in the wag Kyung moans every time he pushes his tongue in deeper. Their bodies are burning hot against one another, Kyung holding onto Jiho’s waist, desperately digging his nails into Jiho’s skin like he might drift away if he doesn't. Jiho can't think straight anymore, his thoughts consumed with feeling Kyung any way he can. Their heads are both spinning, and Jiho finds just enough strength to yank Kyung up so he’s sitting up flesh against Jiho, practically sitting in his lap.

 

They are both more than completely hard at this point, Jiho’s grip soft but sturdy as he ran up and down the length of their erections, running his thumb over Kyung’s head and his own, shivering at the sensation. Kyung whined and bucked his hips in time with Jiho’s fist, wanting as much friction as he could get, never getting enough of the feeling of Jiho. Precum is leaking from his tip even faster now, and he digs into Jiho’s back, trying to hold in his cries. He can feel Jiho staring but is far too embarrassed to open his eyes.

 

“Kyung, look at me.”

 

Kyung forces himself to lock eyes with Jiho, their faces mere inches apart. He can feel Jiho’s heavy breathing, smell the scent of alcohol on his breath now more than ever, and it’s intoxicating. All he can think about is Jiho, and how fucking good he feels, and how long it's been. Jiho doesn't reach in for a kiss or anything, he seems perfectly content with just staring into Kyung’s eyes, never breaking contact for a second. Kyung wants to feel him even more, and moves down to replace Jiho’s hand with his own, wrapping himself around their throbbing members. Jiho’s head tilts back with the sensation as Kyung starts jerking them off even faster than before. It's getting to the point where the pleasure is unbearable, and he buries his head in the crook of Jiho’s neck, letting out a moan and grabbing an even tighter hold around his waist. Jiho takes his hand and grabs the back of Kyung’s head, holding him in place as they grind their hips incessantly into each other. Kyung can tell they’re both getting close.

 

“Fuck Kyung, I needed this so bad. It's been so fucking long Kyung I -” Jiho's words lull off into a breathy moan.

 

Kyung doesn't even take the time to wonder who Jiho was with last like this, if anybody at all. He doesn't think about what the implications of this will be when it’s all over, what tomorrow will bring. All he can do is beg his body hold on, to let him savor this moment a little longer, both because he was finally remembering how it felt to feel this good, and more importantly because he was just learning how much better it could be when it was with Jiho.

 

“Shit, I’m so close, Kyung I can't -” Jiho is spilling over his words thrusting his dick madly in and out of Kyung’s grasp. He pulls his fists tight in to Kyung's hair, and soon Jiho’s shooting hot streaks of cum all over his stomach. The groan that Jiho lets out as he cums sets Kyung over too, feeling his load spill all over his fist, then watching it fall across Jiho’s hot red skin. Kyung collapsed onto Jiho, gasping for breath and still holding on tight around Jiho’s waist. No words were exchanged, just the sound of their breathing winding down from gasps to normal breathing again. Before Kyung could even think of getting up and cleaning them off, the alcohol, the exhaustion, the everything crashed down on him at once. And before long, the two were passed out, Kyung sprawled out on top of Jiho, Jiho’s fingers still loosely laced through Kyung’s hair.

 

Resolution would just have to wait until morning(or more likely mid-afternoon, after the night they’d just had).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haven't written in quite some time, Block B comeback inspired me to write this one. Not sure how long I want to continue this, but probably another couple of chapters. Sorry if this was garbage, just enjoy the Zikyung trash with me. Also go listen to Shall We Dance. And drop me a kudos if you enjoyed. See ya


	2. Chapter 2

Kyung is awoken by streaks of sunlight leaking through a nearby window, head pounding and in need of a good shower. He rubs he temples, eyes squinting against the bright light as he tries to remember what happened the night before. The solid mass of heat passed out on the couch beneath him acts as a pretty good refresher. Kyung quickly scrambles up to his feet, head spinning with the realization of what he had done. This kind of thing is exactly what he had been avoiding to even considering with Jiho for years. Repressed feelings for his longtime friend that surpassed just friendship were hard to keep away and deny sure, but he did it for the sake of the friendship, for the sake of Jiho. Anything to keep him by his side forever. Anything to ensure the one relationship Kyung valued above all others in life would never end. And now he’d ruined everything, and for what, a drunk handjob?

 

He has to get away, Kyung thinks to himself. His mind is swimming with guilt and regret as he quickly wipes himself somewhat clean from the night before. Thinking he might as well get rid of as much evidence as possible, he wipes down Jiho too, gently as he can as to not wake him. As he does so, Kyung’s eyes fall onto the long lashes covering Jiho’s eyes, heavy as he lay passed out and oblivious. He considers brushing the sweaty locks of blonde hair away from Jiho’s face, but decides against it. He had spoiled himself more than enough already. He picks up a discarded pair of sweatpants from Jiho’s apartment floor, and somehow manages to slip them over Jiho’s waist without waking him, followed by a blanket slung over the slender body draped across the couch. He prays that if Jiho has an early schedule today, he has an alarm set for it. Three aspirin stolen from Jiho’s medicine cabinet later, and Kyung’s out the door. He squints his eyes and curses the sunlight, curses whoever discovered soju, cures himself for not just going back to the dorm last night. Jiho for being so perfect. God for not making him a woman.

 

* * *

 

Days pass with no word from Jiho and Kyung feels as if he’s dying inside, fearing the worst. The end of his days with Jiho, the end a bond he planned to keep for life. His chest constantly feels tight, unable to relax, unable to get any meaningful sleep. He knows that Jiho’s currently wracked with solo schedules, including a mini online reality show, its aim to show a day in the life of the infamous Zico. Man, if only those producers knew what happened in the night. Kyung envies the idea of such ignorance.

 

It’s 2am, and Kyung is staring down his fridge, considering drinking just enough to make himself forget it all, when his phone screen lights up with a text notification.

  
  
**Jiho (2:43am)**

kyungie~

can you come over?

 

Kyung’s stomach drops, his head swims. What the hell was this supposed to mean? Kyung may be a host on Problematic Men, but he really doesn’t feel like another fucking puzzle right now. He stares down his phone and considers his options. It was pretty late after all, and he could just leave the text unread, at least until the morning. Perhaps he should just drop his phone down the toilet right now, and cut off his contact with the outside world permanently. Why face your problems when you could just move to Cuba and start a new life instead? He lets out a long sigh, and decides that resistance is futile.

 

omw

**Sent (2:45am)**

 

* * *

 

Jiho swings the door open to Kyung’s feeble knock at the door with a bright smile, hair damp and presumably fresh out of the shower. He’s draped in a loose t-shirt and shorts, his collar bone exposed under a stretched out neckline. His cheeks are tinted a soft pink, perhaps from the heat of a hot shower, perhaps from an earlier few bottles of soju. Kyung didn’t remember driving to a museum, but here he is, staring at a work of art.

 

“Come on in man, I just made some ginseng chicken soup.” Jiho’s smile is infectious, spreading to Kyung. The smell wafting from Jiho’s usually pathetically underused kitchen confirms Jiho’s greeting, rich and homey with and accompanied by the sound of a warm pot simmering on the stove. Jiho’s not much of a cook, but he’s adamant about his exceptional soup technique. Kyung thinks how he’d drink down that mediocre broth over a five star buffet anyday. Soon he’s sitting back on a comfortable dent he’s been working on in Jiho’s couch, staring absentmindedly at some late night reality show re-run, trying to ignore Jiho’s piercing gaze that seeks out Kyung’s opinion on the soup. He figures if he finishes off two bowls or so, it’ll satisfy him.

 

Half an hour and three bowls later, the pair are laid slumped down on the couch, Jiho rambling on about various schedules and his lunch with the Fanxy team earlier that day. Kyung almost feels himself relaxing, but in the back of his mind he’s uneasy. Jiho is acting as if nothing had happened. Which is a blessing, but did he really forget? Kyung scans Jiho’s face for clues, but he’s getting nothing. Surely Jiho couldn’t be acting this naturally if he remembered. And yet in the back of his mind somewhere Kyung thinks to himself how nice it would be, if the events of a few nights prior were normal, recurrent. How nice it would be to have the best of both worlds, having Jiho like this, and the Jiho of several nights ago, all at once. His mind flashes with memories of Jiho’s body, of the feeling of his bare skin against his own. Jiho’s fingers wrapped gently around his neck snap Kyung out of his thoughts, gently rubbing as if Jiho could read his mind, and hoped to calm it. Kyung lets his eyes close shut, and lets the tension fall from his shoulders, and thoughts leak out of his head for a while.

 

“You tired?” Jiho asks.

 

“Probably nothing compared to you. Aren’t you exhausted from work?”

 

“Eh, you know how it is. It’s like comeback time, but all the time. You get used to it.”

 

“Just...tell me if you need me to go home. Let you get some rest.” Jiho smiles gently at that.

 

“I’m resting right now, Kyungie. That’s why I wanted you over.” Kyung hopes his blush isn’t too glaringly obvious. Jiho’s fingers dig a little deeper into the muscles of Kyung’s neck, rolling small circles over the tense muscles.

 

“You stressed about something? You seem a little tense.”

 

“N-no.” is all Kyung manages to think of in response. Jiho’s chuckles, and Kyung can tell he thought that was cute. This inspires Kyung to do something he knows he shouldn’t. He decides to keep going.

 

He let’s out a little contented sigh, stretches himself all the way out on the couch, and pushes his cheek into Jiho’s lap. Motions for Jiho to rub his back, kicking around his heels like a spoiled little kid. Jiho falls for it, and after a small eye roll, starts running his nails lightly across the smooth pale skin of Kyung’s back. Traces his fingers up and down the valley of the smaller man’s spine, pays special attention to the small beauty mark right above the dimples above his hips. Jiho pushes Kyung’s shirt up to gain more access to his thin shoulder blades, savouring the feeling of Kyung’s slow, relaxed breaths below him. Kyung hasn’t had a sip to drink tonight, yet he feels his head swimming, drunk with the feeling. The feeling of Jiho’s touch against his skin. The feeling of belonging to Jiho, and of Jiho belonging to him.

 

Jiho begins to focus his motions closer and closer to Kyung’s waistline, occasionally dipping his fingers under the waistline of Kyung’s sweatpants. Kyung does something else he shouldn’t, and doesn’t make Jiho stop. Soon Jiho moves his whole hand under Kyung’s pants, grabbing gently at Kyung’s ass. Kyung lets out a gasp, followed by a small moan as Jiho groped the soft plump skin, his other hand caressing lightly at the curvature of Kyung’s face. Kyung nuzzles his face deeper into Jiho’s lap, discovering a small lump of heat growing under Jiho’s shorts in the process. Kyung grinds his hips down on the couch below him, addressing a growing problem of his own. He feels Jiho lean down to whisper in his ear.

 

  
“You still hungry?” A shiver runs down Kyung’s spine. He props himself up slightly, peering up leeringly into Jiho’s eyes which stare down into Kyung’s, deep and dark with want. He tugs down Jiho’s shorts and boxers, letting them fall to sit loosely around Jiho’s ankles. Kyung takes a minute to admire Jiho’s hard cock before him, teasingly blowing his hot breath against the throbbing member. Jiho’s shudders and lets out a small, pleading groan, running his free hand through Kyung’s hair imploringly, his other hand still groping at Kyung’s pliant ass cheeks. Kyung finally wraps his mouth around the tip of Jiho’s length, sucking teasingly as he slowly took more and more into his mouth. Jiho eyes tighten in pleasure and he can’t help but let out a moan, his hips jerking and pushing his cock deeper into the warmth of Kyung’s mouth.

 

“Is it good, Kyungie?” Jiho manage to breathe out. Kyung lets out a pleased sound of confirmation, mouth somehow pushing Jiho’s length even deeper down his throat, all the way down to the base. Jiho groans at the sensation of his entire cock being taken in, and threads his fingers deeper through Kyung’s hair, pushing on his head to keep it in place. His hips take over and he fucks incessantly into the irresistible wet heat of Kyung’s mouth. Despite inexperience Kyung somehow manages to hollow out his cheeks so perfectly, sucking down Jiho’s thick cock like it was the most delicious thing he’s ever had. Jiho decides to return the favor, and grabs Kyung’s hips to bring them to up his face, pulling Kyung’s sweatpants all the way down as he did so.

 

Kyung lets out a long, sultry moan as Jiho puts his throbbing and leaking member into his mouth, shoving the length down his throat in one swift motion. Tears form in Kyung’s eyes at the pleasure, so good that it burns. Their skin is hot and red blotches form on Kyung’s chest, heaving up in down with breathes becoming more and more labored. The two begin what seems like a battle to make the other come first, the scandalous sounds of loud, wet sucking resounding against the walls of the small apartment. Jiho focuses on Kyung’s tip, running his tongue over the rim and running down the slit, pumping the rest of the length with a tight closed fist. Kyung doesn’t bother holding in any sounds of satisfaction, moaning heavily around Jiho’s length. His mouth falls open in a gasp as Jiho’s free hand fondles at his balls, tilting his head back at the sensation. He can’t take much more of this.

 

He wills himself to hold on just a little longer as he savours the feeling of Jiho’s cock in his mouth, thick and throbbing and delectable. Kyung can taste the salty flavor of Jiho’s precum as it smears across his tongue, lapping it up as he sucks down even faster than he had been before. Their hips jerk wantonly as they both reach the end of their ability to hold on, Kyung losing himself first as Jiho slams his mouth down to the base of his cock one last time. His hips shudder and his vision goes white as he long strings of cum shoot into Jiho’s mouth, moaning loudly as he feels Jiho swallow around him. Kyung digs his nails into Jiho’s hips and pulls himself as deep around Jiho’s cock as he can manage, a loud groan signaling Jiho pouring his own load into his mouth. He slides off of Jiho’s cock with a lewd pop, gasping for breath.

 

Exacerbated breathing begins to fade back to normal, and the high of the moment wears off a little. Kyung doesn’t know what to feel, what to say, what to think now that this situation has repeated itself once more, this time more intense and without him even being drunk. He turns his eyes up to Jiho, looking for an answer. Jiho stares back in silence, breathing still slightly labored. After what seems like a few moments of hesitation, he leans in and plants a light kiss on Kyungs lips, still red and swollen from all the sucking. Kyung’s eyes widen, and then close as he tilts his head, asking for more. Jiho goes back in, this time parting Kyung’s lips with his tongue, swirling their tongues and the tastes of each other together in their mouths. Kyung would revel in the taste more if it weren’t for the the heavy taste of something else rather familiar.

 

Alcohol, and a lot of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol I'm terrible at ending chapters apparently. My bad. You get the point though right, that Kyung is bothered that Jiho only does the sexy times when he's drunk? Anyway, stick around if you feel like it, I'm on break now and should have time to keep writing this. See ya


	3. Chapter 3

Kyung’s stomach drops. His heart drops even more, before it starts to burn, with unsorted emotions that were rushing in all too quickly. Kyung pulls back from the kiss, eyebrows furrowed and a look of disgust upon his face.

 

“What is this, a fucking booty call?”  Kyung’s words are sharp, flying like daggers through a now cold silent room.

 

“I’m not just some bitch you can call up whenever you get wasted, Jiho.” The unbridled rage seethes off of Kyung’s words. Jiho just stares back with a look of disbelief, eyes wide and confused. After taking a second to process, his own brows start to knit together as he pushes himself back on the couch, rubbing a hand on his temples in frustration.

 

“Kyung you know that’s not what this is about. I would never bring you over just for some petty shit like that.”   
  
“Oh yeah? Well then what the hell  _ is  _ it all about Jiho? You don’t contact me for days only to have me over here to appease your drunken fantasies? Fucking bullshit.” This has Jiho staggering up from the couch, hovering over Kyung with eyes that look like they’re biting back tears.

 

“Well excuse me for being fucking swamped, Kyung!” Kyung can hear it now, Jiho is definitely bordering on tears, voice wavering and eyes glossy. Kyung can only stay frozen in his place on the couch. This is something he rarely sees out of Jiho. His heart sinks a little more.

  
“Every day just blends into the fucking next and I’m lucky if I get 4 hours of sleep anymore. I’m  _ tired  _ Kyung. Tired of the schedules, tired of the alarms, tired of the managers, tired of everything. I thought you of all people would understand that.” Kyung’s muscles are tense, and he can’t move an inch. He knows he’s said something he shouldn’t.

 

“And yeah, maybe I do drink a bottle or two when I finally get home, just to forget all this shit for a while. This lifestyle eats away at you Kyung, you and I both know that. But I keep going for the music, and for the people I love.” Jiho takes a shallow, shaky breath. “...people like you.” Silence. Kyung is essentially on shutdown mode at this point.

 

“And if you seriously think I wanted you over here just so that I could get a quick fucking fix, then you clearly don’t understand what you mean to me.”

 

“Jiho I-”

 

“Just go home Kyung. I have to be up and ready in like 3 hours, I don’t have time for this shit.”

 

“No Jiho please-” 

 

“Just  _ go _ .” Jiho snaps his neck up, eyes blurry and red, his voice sharp with anger.

 

Kyung even can't will himself to move from the couch, much less will himself to leave. But he has to do something, say something, stop whatever was happening. But he says nothing, just lets the suffocating silence consume the room, tries to get his thoughts together. He begs God to let him go back in time 5 minutes ago, and yet the dent he’s been working on in the cushions only gets deeper. He finally raises his eyes to meet Jiho’s. 

 

“I just want to know what we are now, Jiho.”

 

Jiho says nothing, eyes red and irritated from holding back tears. Maybe he doesn't know either. But the look in his eyes tells Kyung that he doesn't really want Kyung to go. Eyes that are tired, dark circles deep and sunken in the skin underneath them. It breaks Kyung’s heart. 

 

“Sit back down, Jiho.” Jiho lets out a sigh and slinks back over to the couch, falling down onto the worn cushions before burying his face in his hands. Kyung watches as Jiho’s shoulders heave up and down in strained sobs, nearly silent as he grits his teeth, small wines managing their way out. Kyung wraps his arm around Jiho’s shoulder, and just lets him let it out. Kyung knows all too well how Jiho lets his stress pile up, higher and higher until it all breaks out like a busted dam. It's not healthy, but to be honest, Kyung is guilty of the same behavior. The one thing he doesn't want is to burden others with problems that are his own, and yet here he is, driving his best friend to tears with cruel, thoughtless words. His heart is a knot, and tears start stinging at his own eyes. Feeling helpless, he just sits there and massages Jiho’s shoulder. Tries to think of what to say. Jiho beats him to it.

 

“I’m sorry.” manages to escape his mouth through the sobs, small and pathetic. Kyung doesn't think he can feel much worse at this point. 

 

“Jiho, don’t-”

 

“ _ I’m sorry,  _ Kyung. Jesus, all I do anymore is fuck up. I can't make a damn post on Instagram anymore without pissing someone off, and now I'm here taking shit out on you. You don't deserve that.”

 

Kyung’s dam breaks open with that, and tears start rolling down his cheeks. This sets Jiho into a fluster, forgetting his own emotions for a moment. His hands waver slightly before moving to wipe his thumbs gently over Kyung’s cheeks. 

 

“Oh no, Kyungie, please don't cry. I'm sor-”

 

“Stop  _ apologizing, _ bastard.” Kyung chuckles a little through his tears. “I should be the one apologizing.” 

 

Kyung tries to push the guilt out of his mind for a moment, if for no other reason than to stop himself from crying. He knows that crying only worries Jiho more. That's what has to end, the worrying. All Kyung wants is a guarantee. A promise. Assurance that tomorrow, next week, a decade from now, Jiho will still be there, waiting for him. He wants to know with complete certainty that Jiho is his, and that he is Jiho’s. He could care less about relationship titles. What he wants is Jiho’s love, one way or another.

 

Silence fills the room again, the two of them huddled close, long thin fingers moving to entangle with one another. They revel again in the comfort of embrace. With every touch, Kyung feels something that brings him closer to a feeling of security. It's kind of odd, and it almost feels like every second they keep contact brings them closer to becoming one being. If only he could always hold onto him like this. Outside, dawn has started to break, just a small sliver of sunlight breaking over the horizon. The chirping of early morning birds reminds Jiho that be has to be at the salon 2 hours from now. Kyung finally shifts, getting up from the couch. Jiho peers up with a worried look. 

 

“You're not leaving, are you?”

 

“Of course not. Come on, we’re taking a shower. You smell like shit.” A smug grin spreads on Kyungs face. Tension drops from Jiho’s shoulders. This is the way it should always be, he thinks. 

 

“Fine, but only if you’ll scrub my back.”

 

“You’ve got a deal, bastard.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol I'm posting this at like 2 in the morning. Where is this story going? Not even I know, only time will tell. Just felt like I should add another chapter, it's been a while. Sorry if it's a bit short. And lacking sex. Stay tuned for more juicy drama.


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